JOHN CHUCKMAN'S GROTESQUES: GUERGIS - CANADA'S HELENA DISPLAYS HER BEST SMIRK AFTER GOING BALLISTIC AT AIRPORT - IT WAS NEVER EXPLAINED WHAT CAUSED HER MELT-DOWN BUT COKE MAY HAVE PLAYED A ROLL - JUNIOR MINISTER IS ESCORTED AWAY BY POLICEMAN - NOTE THE CROSS BUT WHERE'S HER STASH?